We Program Our Success or Failure

Learned helplessness is when individuals perceive themselves as incapable of success and entrapped within their circumstances. One psychological experiment vividly illustrates the concept of learned helplessness. In this experiment, dogs were confined in cages and subjected to electric shocks. Despite their desperate attempts to escape, the dogs found the cage door locked, leaving them helpless. After several trials, the dogs ceased their efforts to escape and resigned themselves to lying in the cage and whimpering. Even when, after a few trials, the cage door was left open during the shocks, none of the dogs attempted to flee. They had learned that escape was futile.

Similarly, men can internalize a sense of helplessness, believing that regardless of their actions, they may remain trapped in their circumstances. This sense of powerlessness often stems from the messages they receive, both from within themselves and from society.

Many men harbor a fixed or closed mindset characterized by self-criticism and negative self-talk. It is crucial to recognize that the brain tends to believe and act upon the messages it receives. Therefore, continually berating oneself can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to self-sabotage, missed opportunities, and a reinforcing belief in one's inadequacy. Men with closed mindsets may perceive the effort as futile and their chances of success as slim, akin to learned helplessness. They may also struggle to accept criticism or feedback, as it threatens their self-worth. The achievements of others can be perceived as intimidating, and individuals with a closed mindset often lack the resilience to bounce back from setbacks. Life's challenges can further exacerbate this closed mindset, perpetuating a downward spiral.

Conversely, men with growth mindsets readily embrace challenges and appreciate the uncertainty of pursuing new endeavors. They welcome feedback, believing they can enhance their talents and skills. These individuals exhibit greater resilience and a faster recovery from setbacks. Developing a growth mindset can lead to increased resilience, a heightened willingness to learn, and enhanced motivation to pursue personal and professional growth. Encouraging a growth mindset within oneself and others can foster a more positive and constructive approach to life's challenges and opportunities.

We must recognize that we all possess closed and growth mindsets in different aspects of our lives. The initial step toward cultivating a growth mindset is self-awareness. We must learn from setbacks and view feedback as a means of growth. Vigilance regarding our inner dialogue is paramount; replacing negative, self-limiting thoughts with positive, growth-oriented affirmations can catalyze change. We should focus on our efforts and progress rather than fixating on predetermined outcomes. Reinforcing positive self-talk and seeking fresh opportunities and challenges—while acknowledging that not all will yield success—are crucial steps on this journey.

Additionally, seeking the guidance of mentors, coaches, friends, or supervisors can provide valuable support in cultivating a positive mindset and facilitating personal growth. Alternatively, we can choose to relinquish hope and succumb to inaction. The choice between these paths ultimately lies within each of us. Which path will you choose to pursue?

Free Session

Home Page